To Live in a Realm Reborn
by HighStormCommanderHanji
Summary: Within the confines of Eorzea, the common people move about in their daily lives, knowing nothing but the common world in which they function. However, it only takes the slightest discrepancy from the norm to begin something great. Live the journey of the greatest heroes of the realm, and join them on their journey to bring back the peace. After all, the journey has just begun...
1. Genesis

_Dedicated in loving memory to my father, Lawrence, who shared my joy in living a fantasy outside of reality_

Chapter 1: See beyond the rubble

This is a bad situation. We were told it would be a simple operation; nothing could possibly have gone wrong. They called it simple, yet it all fell apart so easily. How can this be? She had solid facts, the same as every other time, and now I flee with my tail between my legs. She never has, never will be wrong about this sort of thing, so where did it all fall apart?! This has to be but a simple dream, maybe a little too much wine after the watch tonight….

"AGH!"

The sudden shock to my ribs reminds me that this is not the case. No dream would have me losing grip on my mount, and slamming into her bridle like that. No, this is reality, and it has revealed itself as clearly as the sunset over the octant shines like Ul'Dah. All that remains is to look forward, and live another day. But now everyone is dead, and I am alone to bear this burden. My thoughts race in time with the passing of my surroundings, as we two survivors relocate to the Tidewall. The only thought that keeps me from steeping into the madness of the night is they are safe, the Commander and my commanding officer.

Before our initial raid, they had found a nest of Ebst eggs, and insisted that they go on alone, leaving us to finish the mission ourselves. At this juncture, our Sergeant, Darrow, took the lead to the objective. The task was simple; kill as many Sahagin as you saw within the limits of the "temple" we were to infiltrate. With surprise on our side, we were confident we could overwhelm them, maybe even snatch some crystals while we're at it. But then…. All of the Seven Rings of Hell broke loose in about ten seconds.

"Kweh!"

Well, even when I can slip into my thoughts, my mount can still bring me back with a simple sound. Ayumi had been silent until now, making me forget about her in my melancholic distress. Even after all of these years she still can't live two minutes without me.

"Aye, I see it. We'll be home soon enough. Cut time, lass, onwards!"

With my slightly invigorated command, she shot forward towards the horizon, away from the corrupted coast around us and closer to home.

….

Hours pass by, allowing the waning night to wane on further. I hadn't really considered how far into the enemy's home we were until now. The entire time I was high on adrenaline, not caring where the next stop was, only caring about when the action would begin. How wrong I was to believe that something like that would go so easily. I put the thought aside, and focused on the task at hand. We were in close enough range for me to be able to signal our return, and I reached for my signal horn at my side.

"What the bloody hell is this?"

My horn was covered in blood, my blood of course. Ah, some fishback must have caught me in the side on the way out. No wonder I have been feeling weaker on the ride back.

"Funny how things tend to make sense when you think about 'em a little bit."

This isn't the time to think, however, and I pressed the blood soaked horn to my lips and blew as hard as my air stricken lungs would allow. I could not tell from the offset if my message was received, but all I could do now was continue onward towards safety.

"Hurry lass, time is of the essence. Only a little more until home.'

"Kweh!"

I was beginning to have difficulty making out the images flying past my eyes. My blood was seeping out of my side faster than I could stall it, and time was running out. I could barely make out the south Tidewall as I was mere yalms away from it. I thought I could hear Rikki yelling out, all I could manage to grasp was "gate".

Finally I entered the courtyard of the complex, and was safe. Too bad I was quickly losing consciousness, or else I'd have been celebrating. One can't help getting stabbed on the side while running for your life, however. I simply close my eyes and forget the matter, as my current state is of more an issue. Even in my mentally hazy state I can assess my body's condition. The wound lies directly beneath my ribs, nearly ripping into my liver. I have lost about three pints of blood since the wound was inflicted, and I am suffering from a lack of body heat and oxygen. Only extreme measures will be able to stabilize my condition. However, there is only one person that I know capable of such a feat… If only she were here.

"Good Gods, don't just stand there and watch him die! Out of the way! Corporal needs medevac NOW!"

Heh. Of all the times to come running, you choose now. Ever the playful observer…

"Shit! He's losing blood fast. Stand back, I need room to cast."

I do not recall much beyond that, for I quickly lost consciousness after her spell began. Y'shtola always finds a way to subtly show off when running to my aid.


	2. Chapter 2

"Two days, Hanji. That's how long we sat here and wondered. Two Moons and two Suns _I_ sat here and waited without you not showing any movement whatsoever. One of these days you really will kill me." It seems there is no rest for the wicked, as I received a rather brutal wake-up call from the Official.

"You know by now that I'm too stubborn to die, woman, so why even bother. Wasting that long a time on me was probably a bad choice on your-"Suddenly, a large rod came down on my head, further accentuating my already severe headache.

"Idiot. When it comes to life there is no such thing as waste, you know that. Talking like that is how to make people believe the possibility of you being a Cynic." Her wand is swiftly replaced in its usual carrying sling on her back as she responds. Her usual, mocking tone is already more than enough to shake me from my foul mood, but the fact that she wastes her breath on sarcasm speaks to her worry over the matter. Only in critical moments does she take the time to add phrasing to her speech. It is one of the most prominent of her coping mechanism that have surfaced in my presence.

"Alright, forget it then. You know I appreciate the fact that I'm not dead, right? Leaving without a proper goodbye would have made for a very unwelcome sob story. Twelve forbid that you had to report another casualty."

Her face immediately darkened at the mention of casualties, and I felt the subject was about to take on a more serious form. It was only natural, considering that I had left with a crew of ten men and came back alone, gravely wounded, and without signs of victory.

"Hanji, what on the high seas happened out there? Where the hell did everyone else go to? You were the only one to come back that night, and none of the others from your squad have returned. What can you say for their status?"

"The only thing that is left to say, unfortunately," I mumbled. The question seemed to answer itself, but I felt the need to answer only for the sake of clarity. "The entire force was swiftly batted to the side, and, despite my best efforts, all soldiers present save myself were mauled and eviscerated."

Y'shtola's body language told me of the inner distress at this answer, but her calm expression said that she had already assumed the worst of the situation. However, she did not brood on it for long, and quickly resumed her impartial smirk that had donned here face when I awoke.

"Sooner or later, you'll need a body guard, you know? Ayumi can't handle all of this on her own I think."

I pondered the idea, while deciding to try to push some of her buttons as payback for the cane smack. "Well, I'm surprised the Scions haven't already given you that position. One can only be in the immediate vicinity of the same dying man for so long before the two get paired. People would suspect much grander things were afoot…"

The statement was obviously a shock to her, as she quickly broke into deep blushes and was unwilling to look in my direction. It was amusing, to know that I was really the only person, besides maybe Thancred, that could embarrass her so easily.

"Th-The Scions are not so easy to move their agents to permanent positions, I-I don't know why you would possibly suggest that! It's not like I WANTED to be there all the time, it just… worked that way out of fate…" Her words spoke true, but were rather cute to hear nonetheless. Nearly every time I fell in service, Y'shtola had been in some way connected to my activities and was on hand to mend my injuries. The total amount of instances, I knew, was somewhere in the upper teens, but I had stopped counting after one instance that nearly ended everything. I felt it wrong to count off fate's plans one by one.

"No matter if you wanted it or not, you still gave me priority over others every time. Even this time, that much magic must have been very taxing on you, to heal as well as you did. The last time you needed to use that much, you were asleep for nearly a whole day. What held you together this time, I wonder?"

A rather sly look appeared on the Miqo'te as she reveled in here success. "That's a secret, dear Seymour. I don't want you stealing my stash and bothering me until sunrise. I would never get anything done if you did."

"I rest my case" I said, feeling defeated. I knew she was attempting to avoid me abusing something potentially dangerous, but it still was an annoyance to have a mother looking over my neck. I went to meet her gaze after my brief acceptance of loss, but her eyes spoke to me of something far beyond our simple antics. They spoke of desperate fear, among other things. No doubt she was still shaken over the most recent events. Now that it occurred to me, I felt the need to ask her…

"Tell me something. Where is the Commander? I haven't seen him since the fight, and I imagined he would be waiting for me when I woke up, alongside you of course."

"Hanji… he won't be coming to see you. Not anymore. In fact, he won't be seeing anyone ever again." Her words struck me with more force than here cane ever could, as I digested this impure knowledge. Railog was more of a brute than anyone we had ever known, too stubborn and too rough to die in mere battle. I always imagined that he would die wrestling Leviathan off of a cliff, basking in the glory of the moment. No, there had to be more to it than that.

"Y'shtola, tell me more. Tell me why you and the commander never came back."

It was a question that burned in my mind, and was the final piece of the puzzle in figuring out what exactly happened on the mission. Y'shtola's lack of reaction, however, left me with an anxious silence between us. She remained silent for a long while, remaining completely still, not moving or seeking to speak, simply staring into the corner of my bed.

"I was wrong…"

"What? Speak up woman, tell me what's the matt-"But I didn't even need to complete my sentence before I was cut off with the force of a cannon ball.

"I WAS WRONG SEYMOUR, OKAY?!" Her internal floodgates came crumbling down at this revelation, and she immediately looked straight into my eyes. Hers were overloaded with tears, hiding the torment and anger behind the wall of water. That is what the gates had held back all of the time I had been conversing lightly with her. Even I, one of the more perceptive types, failed to notice this hidden anguish. She held this stance for a few seconds, and then her upper body collapsed onto my chest as she began to sob uncontrollably.

I had proposed what she had told me as a possibility while I was busy escaping the Sapsa grounds, but I had never seriously considered the possibility. In all of the years that I had known her, all the near death encounters I had survived with her, she had never been wrong when it came to her work. He data was flawless, the jewel of the Maelstrom intelligence force.

"I… I cannot fathom such a thing. How the bloody hell did that happen?" I intrigued.

"In the basest way… sheer pride and blind determination. The Elbst nest we had found was breached. Instead of fledgling Elbst, we were overwhelmed by a Shaman and his fanatical crew. There were just too many, even for Railog, to handle. If I had just been able to heal him for long enough…"

So that was it. She felt her own abilities had caused the tragedy, in nearly every capacity. She had never experienced failure, so such a traumatic experience has taken a heavy toll on her heart. Otherwise, she would have been as stoic as ever, the exact opposite of the broken woman that now lay on my bandaged chest. Even around me, this was something she would never do under normal circumstances.

"What is this nonsense? You have never been wrong before, and things far worse have happened to-"

"The past is irrelevant. What matters now is Railog died because I ran like a coward instead of standing to fight with him. Your Commander is a pile of ash in the depths because of my folly, can't you understand that?!"

"I cannot help you without all of the facts, you know that. Tell me everything, start to finish. I need to know what happened." The longer I stumbled around on inferences and assumptions the more she suffered. If there is one thing on this planet that pains me more, it is to see someone in such a pained state. There is far too much unavoidable suffering in the realm to sit by and let avoidable sorrow be unappeased.

"There is little to say. I gathered my information as I always do, with my own eye. Their movements were repetitive for nearly a fortnight before we formulated our plans. Little did we know that the fishbacks were in the middle of mating season. Our lust for battle prevented me from further examination before we left. I took part in that craze, so I am all the more to blame. I never would have though the Sahagin to be so spontaneous."

She seems to have eased herself in a small proportion, but her aura still spoke of acute tragic remorse. There was little I could do to ease her pain, save the magic bag of tricks that I kept for emergencies. Well, better to waste it now than see her go on with this horrid train of thought.

"Y'shtola, never before in my experience have you been wrong, and until now you have saved countless lives with your work. The dead may feel anger, but not towards you. I know of it."

"How could you possibly know how…? Oh. Of course." She had seemed to misplace the fact that I was among the ones who she claimed to have deserted.

"Every one of those men knew the risks they were taking by signing up for the mission. They trusted their own skills to see them through the fight, not your data or your magicks. Every single one of them looked happier than a spriggan in a gold mine, to be honest. I doubt that any of them would have seen you as the reason for their passing." Even the Sergeant, a normally level headed person, shook his head in pure ecstasy when he laid eyes on the battle before him that night.

"What of Railog then? None contributed more to his demise more than I. What can you say of him, Hanji?"  
>"I say," with a renewed vigor, "that Railog was a man who trusted you in the highest sense of the word. Even if you had been wrong, he would have believed you to be right. To him, nothing that came out of your mouth had even the slightest chance of error."<p>

"I could have saved him… I could have brought him back with me, something instead of leaving him there to die for me! What good is magick if it can't even stave off a bloody stab wound?"

Not able to stand such nonsense any longer, I mustered any strength I had and sat to, pulling the shaking Miqo'te in front of me into my embrace. I remained silent for a time, before speaking into her ear.

"You and I both know that he would not have blamed you for the unavoidable. The pattern that exhibited themselves two moons ago could not have been seen by anyone. Railog knew this, and he put his life to the gutter to make sure that you could come back here and make everything right. He wanted you to live for a reason, Y'shtola."

I paused for a bit of dramatic effect, allowing what I had said to sink in before resuming my train of thought on the matter.

"He told you to run because he knew that you could avenge his death, and one less person would be dead because of his sacrifice. He saved you because he trusted you to do right. Now, no more of this remorse. Instead, focus on what needs to be done. To quote you not five minutes ago, '_The past is irrelevant'._ What matters now is how you carry onwards with the gift he has given you." I loosened my grasp on her as my strength began to wane, instead staring at her bright green eyes dead on.

I asked her, with weakening breath, "What will do with the gift of life?"

It would seem that I did not need to wait more than a few seconds to see her answer in action. With the last of my consciousness, I remember a sweet taste touching my lips, and the softness of a tuft of hair brushing my face. My lockmate always seems to find ways to turn on her 'suave' function in the most inopportune of times. What a perfect way to fall asleep.


End file.
